The facts of this story are absolutely true, but the interviewer is fictional.

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So Gary, I hear that you ate only one ice cream for many years, and that it was Breyer’s French Vanilla.

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Yes, that is true, and I’m not sure, but I think it might have been decades.

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And you didn’t eat any other sort of ice cream?

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No, only Breyer’s French Vanilla was the only ice cream I would eat.

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So after so many years of the same ice cream, why did you change?

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Well, I figured that zombies must have come and ate their brains, either that, or the company had new ownership, and so had their own ideas on the way ice cream should be made. Because it was suddenly very different ice cream. If they hadn’t changed it, I probably would have stayed with it for the rest of my life.

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So after all those years of only Breyer’s French Vanilla, what sort of ice cream did you change to?

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I settled on Dreyer’s.

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And what flavor of Dreyer’s?

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French Vanilla.

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So French Vanilla again, and you never tried any other ice creams?

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Oh yes, I did, and I very much liked Tillamook, and I might change to it.

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And what flavor was that one?

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French Vanilla!