it's a short life #1

Did you know that I am an expert on insects?

Yes I am.

Furthermore, did you know that there is an insect that lives for only a week? Don’t ask me which one it is, I haven’t got that far along yet. But when it dies, it’s whole life flashes before its eyes.

(Now insect talking:) Oh, yes, I remember everything now.

Monday night was when I was born.

Tuesday, I was a little sucker.

Wednesday, I went shopping all day.

Thursday, was when I ate.

Friday, I went dating. Went on 43 dates, and had sex with all of them the first night. And one of them was a blind date. Boy, was that one blind, couldn’t see a thing.

Saturday was when I got married.

Sunday, I had kids, four hundred and sixty of them.

Then right away one of my kids came to me and asked; "Mommy, am I going to die soon?"

And I answered; "No Dear, you have your whole life ahead of you, all 6 days!"

We had a good life. Some of our kids went to college. And some went to the park, and some went to the parking lot. We were in the movies, flying around the lights. We went on picnics and flew around peoples’ faces and landed on their food. We got books from the library, and ate them. We went on lots of vacations to strange places, and then came the divorce, 59 minutes later.

One day, one of my kids talked back to me, do you want to know what he said? He said; don’t be on a cow. Can you believe it? Kids that day, they weren’t that way last week! So I said to him; “Don’t tell me that, I wasn’t born yesterday, it was the previous day.





 Oh, and my son Timmy, he had a car accident. Oh no, it wasn’t his fault exactly, he got hit by a grill. Poor Timmy, if I told him once, I told him a hundred times, don’t do loop de loops over the black land.

And I kept confusing the names of Timmy, Linny, Jimmy, and Tapoca. I just couldn’t keep it straight as to which one was Tapoca. And then there’s my sister. She took so long putting on her makeup, that she got old and senile and forgot what she was putting it on for.

And then monday, I couldn’t remember the names of any of my kids. So I went and looked through the “Memories” family photo album and I kept pointing and saying; “Who’s this? And who’s this? And who’s this?”